(MOTION PICTURE STUDIO HIGH CONCEPT MEETING)

STUDIO GUY 1: OK, people, our hero is Chad, the sensitive terrorist.
STUDIO GUY 2: We have a problem with "terrorist". We like the term, "Activist".
FLACK: Oh, that's great, sir...really nice!
STUDIO GUY 2: Shut up, kid...get me an Evian.
FLACK: Yes, sir! (Runs out of room)
STUDIO GUY 3: What is his "motivation"? What is he protesting against?
STUDIO GUY 1: From what I've read in the New York Times, he's protesting against Chimpy McFlightsuit's illegal war in Iraq.
STUDIO GUY 2: Oh, I can understand that! I have a bumper sticker on my BMW that calls him the Resident of the United States! Get it? Resident, not President?
FLACK: That's a great sticker, sir! Here's your water.
STUDIO GUY 2: Shut up, Kid...hey, this isn't Evian!
FLACK: They were out, sir.
STUDIO GUY 2: You're fired!
FLACK: Yes sir.
STUDIO GUY 1: I think Chad should also be fighting oppresion of the poor. Maybe he can be an abortion rights activist.
STUDIO GUY 3: I like it! Maybe he could be protesting the girl that got run over by that Jewish bulldozer.
STUDIO GUY 2: Wait! Wait! I have it! We could make Chad that girls secret lover! Yeah, let's just say that they met in college and had a Romeo and Julie kind of romance!
STUDIO GUY 1: Oh, that's good! Let's go with that! Who do you see as the blonde girl?
STUDIO GUY 2: Reese Witherspoon?
STUDIO GUY 3: Hmm...she's ok, but not quite right.
STUDIO GUY 1: Sarah Michelle Geller?
STUDIO GUY 2: Please! We want this flick to make money, okay?
STUDIO GUY 3: Someone with an international flavor...a girl that could appeal to a heroic international activist or relief worker.
STUDIO GUY 2: How about Nicole Kidman?
STUDIO GUY 1: Perfect! Leggy and sexy, just the kind of classy broad an international human rights worker would attract.
FLACK: Great thinking sir!
STUDIO GUY 2: What the hell are you still doing here? I fired your ass!
FLACK: I'm dating Mr. Geffen now. Actually, YOU'RE fired!
STUDIO GUY 2: Yes sir.
STUDIO GUY 1: Who do you see as Chad?
STUDIO GUY 3: Someone with superstar appeal, great smile and warmth befitting an international hero of the oppressed people everywhere.
STUDIO GUY 1: Jim Caviezel?
FLACK: That Jesus guy as a compassionate hero? I don't think so!
STUDIO GUY 3: If we can get Zemickis to direct this, what about Tom Hanks?
STUDIO GUY 1: Is Tom Hanks Arabic?
FLACK: We shouldn't really let ourselves get pigeon holed into racial stereotypes. There are lots of human rights champions that aren't Arabic.
STUDIO GUY 3: I think I heard that Spielberg is directing.
STUDIO GUY 1: How about Tom Cruise!
FLACK: Great! We have our Chad!
STUDIO GUY 3: Uh, weren't Tom and Nicole married once? Won't that be a problem?
FLACK: It's OK, they're both "CLEAR" Scientologists, they don't have any of those body Thetans anymore.
STUDIO GUY 1: What the hell does that mean?
FLACK: (SHRUG) Anyway, Mr. Geffen thinks Tom has a cute butt, and trust me, he knows butts! That's good enough for me.
STUDIO GUY 3: Is John Travolta still on tap as Achmed, the wacky pilot?
STUDIO GUY 1: Yep, and we have Ben Affleck as Osama Bin Laden, and Jon Lovitz as Ariel Sharon.
FLACK: This is going to be great! Get me an Evian.