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May 12, 2006
Contemplating Chuck Norris
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
In the beginning there was nothing . . . then a Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Judith | 05/12/06 at 03:32 PM | Categories: - Around the blogosphere
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Comments
Chuck Norris fake google search.
joe | May 13, 2006 03:45 AM
Did Chuck Norris write this post? Cuz it could cut glass.
AbbaGav | May 13, 2006 05:18 PM
This website compares Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris -- alas, Chuck comes up short, but he tries hard!
Van | May 14, 2006 10:07 PM
