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November 21, 2006
Ellen Update: Barkin's Brave New Life
When we last checked in on Jewish love goddess Ellen Barkin, she was preparing to wash that man right out of her hair, symbolically, by selling some spare tokens of wasted affection from former husband Ron Perelman, to net $21 million.
Since then, Ellen has continued her brave and dignified adjustment to the challenges, heartbreaks and, yes, delights of life as a vibrant Jewish single.
First, in October she shyly admitted to a certain girlish crush on handsome actor and "Ocean's Thirteen" co-star George Clooney. Speaking before a small intimate group of several hundred people, she demurely commented,
"I have f***ed George Clooney".Barkin, 52, said: "I always heard that George has amazing chemistry with all of his co-stars.
"Now I see why. I'm probably the only one of many actresses to stand up here and admit yes, I have f***ed George Clooney. I'm very proud of it actually.
"If you don't have chemistry with George Clooney, you need to check your pulse."
More recently, Ellen showed the patience of a matriarch in a surprise public meeting with her ex, Ron. As we all know, unplanned bumpings-into with exes, especially in social situations, can be awkward. I am pleased to note that Ellen and Ron both acted in the manner I would expect from mature Jewish adults. The New York Post's Page Six, which is of course entirely believable in these matters, ran a lead item under the headline "Ellen Gives Ron a Drenching":
"Ellen was with two girlfriends and a teenager," said our spy. "It was just a nice family night out - until she saw Ronald."Barkin, who loathes her ex and sold off all the jewelry he gave her for $21 million last month, was refilling her water glass when she locked eyes with Perelman and warned, "Don't come any closer!"
When Perelman kept advancing on Barkin's table nonetheless, she shouted, "Please! Do not come any closer!" But Perelman kept coming, and according to our eyewitness, "leaned in as if to kiss [Barkin] on the cheek." That's when Barkin drenched him with a full glass of water.
That's good, Ellen. Let the pain out. Water, like tears, will dry, once shed. Or thrown.
Van | 11/21/06 at 07:27 PM | Categories: Life and how to live it
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Comments
Now that she's got rid of the Perelman jewellery--with 21 million smackers to console her--I bet she's looking beyond all those superficialities like wealthy, power, and good looks, and is really searching for a nice, slightly older Jewish guy with good values and a sharp sense of humor who likes to spend his summer vacations going to minor league baseball games.
If you happen to know her, anybody, feel free to give her my e-mail address, since I've finally come around to the idea that with regard to Lucy Lawless and me it's not going to happen.
Alex Bensky | November 22, 2006 07:36 AM
