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May 16, 2007

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give

A bit of wishful thinking that got sent around on email . . . .

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans." Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: there's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.

I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economicsecurity.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied People Died' crap either. If I was the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.

When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor'.

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a f months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dammit, you might just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream of one) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what I mean.

The rest of you, **** off.

GWB

Judith | 05/16/07 at 01:39 PM | Categories: Domestic Politics

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Comments

LOL. Yeah, it's the 70% of the country who disapproves of him that's delusional. Poor, misunderstood Bush.

JewishAtheist | May 16, 2007 02:43 PM

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy? - this from a man who went to war without accurately evaluating who and what the "enemy" was?

The fact that Bush hasn't said this is probably proof that, despite most evidence to the contrary, a high-level career in politics requires a modicum of skill and diplomacy.

mary | May 16, 2007 03:47 PM

This is the speech Tony Blair would like to give
(and he is actually quitting).

Rob | May 16, 2007 04:52 PM

Who cares what speech the ***hole gives? Just let him resign and take his fellow crooks and incompentents (the ones not already binned like Rumsfeld, Libby, Bolton and any minute now Wolfowitz) with him.

IMO there's precious little left of America worth saving after seven years or so of Bush/Cheney. You're welcome to it.

Rob | May 16, 2007 08:26 PM

I think its great. If Congress continues to stonewall the funding of the war in Iraq it will be necessary.

Robert Schwartz | May 16, 2007 11:24 PM

Bring on Pelosi and Reid and Hilrod
and Barack and let the good times begin! NOT !!

Paul | May 17, 2007 10:23 AM

Bring on Pelosi and Reid and Hilrod
and Barack and let the good times begin! NOT !!

Paul | May 17, 2007 10:24 AM

I tried to trackback my post copying this but it was rejected

Don Singleton [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 17, 2007 12:23 PM

Pretty funny. Unfortunatley, when somebody does 'quit' it's usually with the suggestion that 'my ass is so big that you couldn't kiss all of it but, heh, you've got nothing better to do so get crackin' a la the poo' James Dobson who may be forced by you liberal fags (in contrast to me, James the Adonis, secret flame of all you hos) not to cast a vote for president for the first time since he, mentally, turned 2 (he hasn't turned 4 yet). So aren't you ashamed of yourselves! This pretty much turns out to be a test of your gag reflex.

michael | May 18, 2007 12:48 AM

American's fat, dumb, and happy bouncing down the garden path amid the Lilacs and daisy's.
American's soon to get what they want and then what they deserve.
American's it's your choice, make it good cause you will be making this choice of directions for Americans who are just children now but when grown will have to live in the world you make for them.
American's make your choice now, the world awaits!
1. Submit to Allah.
2. become a Dhimmi slave.
3. Die.
OR
1. grow a brain.
2. grow some Cajones.
3. fight back and win.
Personally I don't think Americans can do it.
American's fat, dumb and happy.

Barry 0351 | May 19, 2007 11:15 AM

-----------------------------------------
MY FELLOW KESHERTALK READERS:
-----------------------------------------

I know how much you love to live in denial about reality. As we all know, reality has a well known liberal bias. But seriously, get a life.

Do you know who was supporting Fatah al-Islam or whatever they're called???

That's right... The same people who are trying to destroy it now: Hariri Inc.

There are extremists in every society. Look at the history of Israel for example. Israelis invented car bombings and hijackings, Tamil Tigers invented the suicide belt... etc... Palestinans blow themselves up in public places.

But look at your own country, the US, where terrorism was supported directly and indirectly by police and the government. I'm talking of course of Ku Klux Klan. Look at Northern Ireland and the IRA which were partly funded by Irish Americans.

If you *support* crazy people like Fatah al-Ismal (or whatever they're called) then you are asking for trouble. Hariri Inc wanted to cause trouble for the Shiites in the south, but they are finally realizing the error of their ways. Too late.

Let's do our part. Let's stop supporting terrorism and despotic regimes. Once *we* do that, then we can start talking about other people's crimes.

Why are Keshertalk people so full of hate?

You have the ideas you do because you can't put yourself in regular people's shoes. Instead you have fantasies about how Jihadis will destroy America. Are you serious?

Things like Nukes, and Climate change don't seem to bother you people as much as those *scary* arabs who will come to the US and introduce Sharia law.

Puh-leez!

Get a grip on reality will ya? And stop hating so much. It will be better for your mental health.

asdf asdf | May 23, 2007 01:12 PM

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