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June 19, 2007
A Knighthood for Salman Rushdie is a Disgrace
I fully agree with certain UK Muslim leaders that a knighthood for Salman Rushie is a very bad move. So he wrote a blasphemous but unreadable book, The Satanic Verses. Big deal.
Sir Salman means nothing.
But Salman Rushdie, Lord High Executioner, now that has a nice ring to it.
Given the endless and now accelerating rage and threats against Rushdie, he deserves a cooler title than "Sir." And he also should enjoy a position that enables him to turn the tables on those who threaten him and, by extension, what I affectionately term Perfidious Albion.
In this noble, ancient position, Rushdie would command the Queen's Legions, including a personal corps of Cockney Ninjas, who would say things like, "Wot say, Gov'ner? Off wi' 'is bloomin' 'ead? Transport to the Tower o' London for a bit o' discussion o' the breakdown o respect for litrature, wot?"
Thus empowered and protected, Lord High Executioner Rushdie could bring a dynamic, highly informed tone to security issues in the Realm. As a sign of respect, people called before him would have to sing his official song:
Taken from the county jail
By a set of curious chances;
Liberated then on bail,
On my own recognizances;
Wafted by a favouring gale
As one sometimes is in trances,
To a height that few can scale,
Save by long and weary dances;
Surely, never had a male
Under such like circumstances
So adventurous a tale,
Which may rank with most romances.
Defer, defer,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble Lord,
To the noble Lord High Executioner!
Bow down, bow down,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble, noble Lord,
To the High Executioner!
Van | 06/19/07 at 07:22 PM | Categories: WWIV
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Comments
I wouldn't call TSV unreadable; after all, I read it. I just wouldn't want to read it again... Though it had a few good moments IIRC.
At my time of life the mots justes from The Mikado are more along the lines of
There's a fascination frantic
In a ruin that's romantic
But yes, I could easily imagine Sir Salman dealing with his little list. (I wonder what his little list would include: doubtless endlessly entertaining....)
