The situation heated up. Factions began testing the limits of civilized political discourse -- a car bombing here, a beheading there, a few inconsequential massacres in hospitals. As president of the Palestinian Authority, Fatahist Abbas worked hard to keep the focus on killing Jews, but the warm feelings between Hamas and Fatah on that key issue were not enough to prevent a certain fraying of the fraternal tone of Palestinian political culture.

The legend began one hot August day in 2007 when Abbas worked in his office reviewing expense reports from the crackerjack Gaza Corps of Engineers. Suddenly, irate Hamas gunmen burst into the office. Thinking they merely wanted to dispute his disallowance of fast-food meals on the Corps of Engineers' expense reports (Abbas always had a reputation as a micromanager, a bit too hands-on for some people's taste), did not show any particular alarm.

Indeed, he welcomed them to his office with the traditional greeting of the time, blasting them with poorly aimed rounds from his pearl-handled Kalashnikov rifle. Alas, members of the Hamas political discussion committee grabbed Abbas and said they were taking him "for a ride to talk about business."

This encouraged the ever-optimistic Abbas, who quipped, "Well, killing is my business, and business is good."

Alas, the only ride they had in mind for Abbas was up the elevator of the 18-story Trans-Gaza Financial and Jihad Services Center. At first Abbas had no qualms, although his hands were cuffed behind his back and the Hamas political discussion committeemen kept prodding him with their guns.

Too late did Abbas realize he was going to get the latest in Gaza business-meeting conclusions, the quaintly named 'express elevator down" tactic. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people watched the drama unfold, including Abbas's own handpicked crackerjack security squad, back from a long seaside lunch,

And then a great miracle happened there, as Mossad observers chuckled. With his life flashing before his eyes, Abbas could not know that, at the very instant, the sewage dikes built by the Gaza Corps of Engineers were collapsing (again), creating an instant moat of foamy, shock-absorbing sludge around the Trans-Gaza Financial and Jihad Services Center. As Abbas got the heave-ho over the side of the building, the chief of his security detail exclaimed, "Why, boys, ol' Abbas is fallin' like a stone wall!"

Down, down he fell, until he landed with a mighty "splut" in the moat, which gently cradled Abbas until his security team could fish him out and hose him down.

From that moment, the legend came to life: Stonewall Abbas, the man who survived the express elevator treatment, became a great general, leading his Fatah troopers in combat in hospitals, schools, Internet cafes, and recreational facilities across the breadth of Gaza as they sang their terrifying anthem, "The Battle Hymn of the Islamic Republic."

The campaign against Hamas ended with the triumphant "March to the Sea," a year old battle against incredible odds to the shores of the Mediterranean. The march only covered 300 yards, but it's the thought that counts.

And to this day, General Stonewall Abbas always approves the expense reports of the Gaza Corps of Engineers.