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August 31, 2007

Why Wait? Hold the Primaries NOW

Americans are people in a hurry. Patience is not a national virtue. Christmas decorations hit stores around Halloween, the Internet gives immediate access to news and Kesher Talk. In that spirit, we should acknowledge that nobody wants to six months for political primaries and a year for conventions.

Instead of wringing hands about states jostling to have caucuses and primaries earlier than ever, let's have the primaries in October -- all of them -- and get the nominations out of the way. Then, let's scrap the physical conventions, which are just a way for news networks to preen and posture, and for cities to get conventioneers' dollars.

Instead, let's have virtual conventions in late November on the Second Life website. This way, the anarchists can create their black-clad avatars to run amok without actually destroying anything, the parties can whoop and holler, activists can look earnest and we can finally nominate the tickets in a brisk, timely fashion.

With that wrapped up, the opposing tickets will then have a year to act presidential and actually do things in their day jobs to show their worth, without the pointless exercise of dragging through the primaries, and then the long wait for the conventions.

That would free up time for Hillary to concentrate on milking the financial bladders of her gorgeous mosaic of felonious campaign contributors, while Rudy can give Larry Craig hints on how to cross-dress, which should add some zip to his energetic social life.

Van | 08/31/07 at 06:40 AM | Categories: - GOTV '06 to '08

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Comments

Paul | August 31, 2007 07:27 AM

Alex Bensky | September 6, 2007 08:36 AM

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