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December 21, 2008

Hamas Names Madoff "Financial Jihadist of the Century"

January 1, 2009: The terrorist group Hamas honored financier Bernard Madoff as its "Financial Jihadist of the Century" last night with a gala dinner at the Gaza Conference and Suicide Bomber Training Center. The event celebrated Madoff "for his decades of unstinting and effective service to fulfilling the dictates of the yetzer hara, the Evil Inclination, in destroying Jewish institutions."

The honor capped a whirlwind year for Madoff, whose careful investment strategy paid huge dividends for Hamas and other Islamic terror groups. The U.S. financial crisis led to withdrawals from his investment funds, which, in fact, were in all probability never actually invested. Madoff simply used new investments to pay off earlier investors. His entire financial structure collapsed, taking with it billions of dollars of investments from many Jewish families and organizations.

Due to some passport problems, Madoff was unable to attend the gala, but he appeared via video and simply said, "Thank you for this honor. You're too kind. I couldn't have done it without all the little people, and big people, who blindly trusted me."

Speaker after speaker extolled Madoff's innovative approaches to financial jihad directed against Jewish organizations. One speaker declared, "We have had success in killing and injuring individual Jews -- bus bombings, Chabad in Mumbai, kidnappings. But our friend Bernie has taken jihad to an entirely new level. We killed individuals but he harmed institutions and wounded the entire Jewish communal infrastructure. That takes a true visionary. And most important, Bernie destroyed hope and trust among Klal Yisrael. Families are devastated, institutions and charities are closing, Jewish communities will never recover. What will happen now when solicitation letters and calls go out? Jews will think, 'Am I giving to a cause, or giving to support shmucks who shovel donations to their ganif cronies without a thought for whether the pals are criminals or not? Am I helping the worthy poor, or the yacht industry?' The cause of jihad simply cannot buy that kind of support."

The dinner tribute booklet overflowed with notices from many groups, praising Madoff's accomplishments and pledging funds for Gaza's new Madoff Family Institute of Advanced Financial Jihad. His voice choking, Madoff said, "My only regret is that my beloved mother and father are not alive to see this legacy. They would have been so ashamed of me."

The back cover ad brought tears to the eyes of the hundreds of jihadi dinner guests, clad in their finest evening wear and bomb belts. It simply said,

"Bernie, we deeply appreciate your outstanding disservice to the Jewish community worldwide. Although you're the son of apes and pigs, you are a truly unrighteous man unto our generation. That's why we're going to kill you last. Yasher Koach, Osama."

Van | 12/21/08 at 12:06 PM | Categories: Doing Jewish

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Laurel Paley | January 3, 2009 05:04 PM

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