January 14, 2011
Sarah Palin's Call and Response
With the furor over her advertising and use of the term "blood libel," Sarah Palin has entered the realm of master hypnotist and mind controller. Her every utterance provokes cries of alarum or huzzahs -- quite a feat for a woman who holds no elective office and lives on the frozen edge of the continent. Here, I'm anticipating her upcoming incendiary comments and the likely reaction from the progressive community and its toadies in parts of the mainstream press:
Palin: The sun will rise in the east tomorrow morning.
Response: You're trying to subvert the established science of holistic astronomy! Sun rises where Great Turtle in the Sky tells it to rise!
Palin: I support the State of Israel's right to exist.
Response: Accckkkk, she's a crazy Christian trying to bring the Apocalypse by goading Iran to bomb Israel!
Palin: Children can benefit from brushing their teeth at least once a day.
Response: You're nothing but a shill for the toothpaste lobby.
Palin: Teenagers should get eight hours of sleep each night.
Response: You just don't want young people to watch "The Daily Show" and learn the TRUTH about your unfathomable EVIL.
Palin: When they were very young, my kids always liked hearing me sing, "The itsy-bitsy spider went . . ."
Response: You really want to force women to get back-alley abortions, don't you?
Palin: Hunting is an effective form of wildlife management.
Response: You drink the blood of Bambi!
Palin: Todd and I had some jumbo shrimp for dinner.
Response: Ah-ha, you call yourself a friend of Israel but you eat treyf.
Palin: E = mc2
Response: Down with Zionist physics!
Palin: When friends visit, I like to use the nice china.
Response: You want to export good green jobs to China! You're a running-dog enemy of the working class!
Palin: In the summer, I enjoy floating on innertubes down rivers.
Response: She floats, she's a witch, burn her!
Palin: We hold these truths to be self-evident.
Response: Fascist supporter of white privilege!
Palin: Mark Twain wrote many classic American novels, including Huck Fi . . .
Palin: Bananas are . . .
Response: How DARE you exploit the impoverished banana harvesters!!
Van | 01/14/11 at 05:34 AM | Categories: Domestic Politics
TrackBack URL for this entry:
Anonymous | January 14, 2011 05:34 AM